This man will hunt ducks, split logs and set up our Lobster Shack Coastal Birdhouse, but stay as pleasant and fresh as this New England morning. This man won’t leave dirty puddles inside the door or scratch his crotch or soil our sink with whiskers.

In his Natural Fit Double L Jeans and Loden Waterfowl Sweater.Color-coordinated yet masculine, he snowshoes back home carrying a tidy bundle of holly berry branches and a Log Cabin Nut Gift Set. My favorite being this.One day I will pack up, move into its glossy pagesĪnd take up permanent residence in this snowy tableau: Looking out from the porch of my rustic Maine cabin, protected from the frosty air in my Sherpa Fleece Big Shirt in Dusty Plum, my loving gaze falls upon my chiseled and stunningly coifed mate. Gingold’s catalogs easily rank as my second favorite piece of comedy involving LL Bean. Three offensive Madras patterns: Nauseating Navy and Red. Slacks are suitable for wear to costume parties, hazing rituals, or as a consequence of World Series bet loss. Patch Madras is 100% cotton and should be dry-cleaned or, preferably, buried. Front and rear pockets bulge unattractively when used (Women’s Slack does not have rear pocket). Accentuates thick waist, pear-shaped bottom, and wide hips even if wearer does not have them. In this fabric, traditional tailoring with regular rise and straight leg is unflattering to all body types. Unlikely to go with any other items in wardrobe. Garish plaids are made up of virulent, incompatible colors. Authentic Indian Madras fabric is 90% handwoven cotton. Jackass Slacks: Comfortable, light in weight, and unutterably hideous.Two-button flapped handwarmer pockets will not hold anything more substantial than a candy bar or two tickets to a game. Knit-lined stand-up collar can be buttoned snugly if lack of necktie causes anxiety. Vest wearage and linen display at cuff look very foolish with this jacket, increasing evidence to wearer that he is to relax. Waist length of about 25” is too short for anything but a leisure garment. Raglan sleeve construction combines trim, easy fit with insufficient pocket space for wallet, papers, pens, and credit cards. Our Weekend Jacket: Intended for weekend wear in spring and summer, this good looking jacket lets the compulsive or obsessive executive known when he is not at the office.Fine quality, medium-wale corduroy has neat appearance, is comfortable and able to withstand repeated brushing and smoothing. Patch pockets hold all feasible essentials. Skirt provides 8” beyond normal waistline for nervous binges or wind. Wraparound style with overlapping back panel and button waistband permits extensive centering activity, panel straightenage, and button play. Fidgeter’s Skirt: Women who are on first dates, job interviews, or trying to quit smoking will appreciate this good looking skirt with many features for frequent adjustment.Suitable for lawn parties, thickly carpeted restaurants, or putting feet up where they can be seen. Supple calfskin upper is joined to beaverboard outsole with saliva and library paste. Social Climbing Shoe: A slim, insubstantial shoe with inflated price, this moccasin is a favorite among parvenus, hanger-ons, and snobs.Three patterns: Boring Red Foulard Tedious Blue Foulard Camouflage.

A seemingly casual yet extremely affected piece of apparel, this tie is a favorite of prep school boys, university wits, and unbearable literary types.

“Old Sport” Shoulder Tie: A thin, flexible wire sewn into the lining of this tie permits it to be worn nonchalantly over the shoulder even when no wind is blowing.

Gingold had some really funny descriptions for his facetious products. (One was from a reclusive bachelor who liked to order and return the same things every month, just for the sake of human contact). He even wrote some testimonials, just like you’d expect to find in a mail order catalog. The covers had those softly painted pictures idealizing Maine hunting life, and the inside was filled with descriptions of preppy clothes and outdoor gear. In the 1980s, at the height of the American catalog business, Alfred Gingold wrote two parody catalogs that looked much like LL Bean’s.

Ll bean catalogue